I’ve read a lot about abortion over the past week. News articles. Legal analyses. Fact-checking pieces. Personal essays. Opinions. Twitter threads.
(Confession: I tend to do this when a big issue catches my attention. I take a deep dive, become consumed by everything there is to read about it.
I don’t necessarily recommend this approach to the news.)
I have thoughts about it all. Lots of thoughts.
Which I am not going to share with you today.
At some point in the past month or two (the timeline is murky because sleep deprivation is a thing), Emmeline went from sleeping six hours in a row to . . . not doing that. At all. Even a little bit.
Which is to say: I haven’t been getting much sleep lately.
It hasn’t been as hard this time around as I remember it being in the past. I don’t know why this is. Maybe I know what to expect, now, and am in a better mental state to accept it. Maybe it’s the knowing that this is a thing babies do and that I will sleep again eventually. Maybe I’ve become inured to it over the years.
Still, to say that it isn’t as hard isn’t the same as saying it isn’t hard at all.
I’ve been mulling over a post about the national conversation surrounding abortion for most of the week. This morning, I even managed to type a few sections out, to construct a general outline for what I wanted to say.
But that’s as far as I got.
This is partly because the topic is a difficult one, one with real, lasting implications for real lives. It’s fraught with emotion, ripe with opportunities for straw-men arguments and vilification.
But it’s also true that it’s a bit harder for me to formulate my thoughts these days. That there are a lot of responsibilities calling my name. That the baby who likes to snuggle multiple times during the night has also started wanting more quality time during the day as well.
Which is all just as well. Because let’s be honest: the world hardly needs one more hot take (though I suppose by this point we should really just call it a lukewarm take) on a contentious issue.
All of which to say: I’m trying to practice what I preach.
(Spoiler alert: I’m not very good at this. Not as good as I’d like to be, anyway.)
I’m reminding myself that I have all the time in the world for the things I’m supposed to do in this season, that, if I’m running out of time (or ability) to formulate words, maybe I need to direct that focus elsewhere.
I made a commitment to post weekly, but maybe right now, until my baby figures out sleeping again, that looks like letting go of perfectionism, like being willing to put something out there that’s not as polished as I’d like it to be.
I’m telling myself that this time is short. Right now, baby snuggles and toddler belly laughs and big kid conversations trump almost everything else, and that’s ok.
No, it’s better than ok.
As my wise husband said, it’s pretty special. There will be time for the other stuff later.