If I close my eyes, I can see her face as she said it, the earnestness, the innocent faith, the honest desire to find reason in a situation where there was none to be found. As a church body, we had been praying for a young mom with stage IV cancer, praying hard for a … Continue reading "On Church Messages and God’s Promises"
Read MoreTag: grief
March 16th
Today is March 16th, 2015. Somewhere far away from here, there will be a party. Cake, most likely, and balloons, and brightly colored decorations. Toys and laughter and the chattering of a dear girl who has now officially left being a baby behind, who is now a toddler, who has now entered the so-called “terrible twos”. … Continue reading "March 16th"
Read MoreNeither Did I
“When hearing of our failed adoption, people often express their dismay. “I could never adopt,” they tell me. “My heart couldn’t take it. I don’t know how you survived; I don’t have the strength to make it through something like that.” Before I lost my daughter, I’m sure I voiced a similar sentiment when confronted … Continue reading "Neither Did I"
Read MoreWinter
We’re past the holidays now, have moved into the long stretch between the festive gatherings of December and the first blooms of spring. It’s interesting, isn’t it, that winter begins on the shortest day of the year? That though the days grow longer, though the light, the blessed light, is returning, still weeks of cold … Continue reading "Winter"
Read MoreA Broken Place
The world is a broken place. We need not look far to find evidence of this fact; it confronts us every day in our frailty, in our humanity, in the ways our own relationships falter and our own efforts fall short. Still, there are weeks when mankind’s desperate need for God seems to blazon itself … Continue reading "A Broken Place"
Read MoreOne Year Ago Yesterday
One year ago yesterday, I sat in a courtroom, my fists clenched around my pen, or Jonathan’s hand, or the table in front of me – anything to give me a hold on the world, anything to feel grounded – and listened as a teenage boy told brazen lies and a teenage girl talked herself … Continue reading "One Year Ago Yesterday"
Read MoreUnexpected Grace
These early days of Katie’s life outside the womb have been days of rest, of peace, of joy. No pain or sorrow or stress, just the quiet and natural transition to being a family of three once again, the settling into this routine, this new normal. This is all unexpected, really. I did not anticipate … Continue reading "Unexpected Grace"
Read MoreJoy and Sorrow
On Sunday, we celebrated. Our church community showered us with love, with prayers, with gifts as we anticipate the arrival of our little girl. It was beautiful and fun and wonderful. There were smiles and laughter good conversation and helpful stories and not-so-helpful stories and oh-so-much-food and special photographs and pink. Lots and lots of … Continue reading "Joy and Sorrow"
Read MoreBroken Christmas Thoughts
It seems cliched, somehow, but I can’t help feeling that I identify in some ways with Mary this year as my own baby grows inside of me. This sense of anticipation, of awaiting, of knowing that God is up to something but not really understanding what that something might be. Of course, in all reality, … Continue reading "Broken Christmas Thoughts"
Read MoreSuffering and Small Things and Gratitude
When it comes right down to it, I am amazingly, ridiculously, wonderfully blessed. Beyond measure. Beyond counting. Beyond my ability to comprehend it. Spiritually, physically, emotionally, materially – I have not known want. I have what I need and more. Through nothing of my own doing, through none of my own merits or my own … Continue reading "Suffering and Small Things and Gratitude"
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